The Year I Took Off Social Media: Pt. Two

my accidental break from insta and the things I have learned along the way

You can read Part One of why I have taken a break from social media here! 

Now on to Part Two, the observations I have had on the effects this break from social media has had so far in my personal life. 

Safe to say, I immediately saw a difference. The obligatory reaching for the apps that I am, let’s face it, addicted to was hard not to notice. I deleted the app off of my phone to prevent temptation, yet I would hover over where it used to live in my apps and feel a rush of cringe at myself when I realized what happened, like why am I so addicted to this? 

The brain fog was something in my life I could objectively quantify and notice that I did not like. Part of why I was even drawn to taking a break, was to see if deleting this app would make that go away and to an extent, I think it did. I should probably clarify that I have had trouble with mental health most of my adult life, not uncommonly. I struggle with anxiety daily and depression has become a familiar state for myself in recent years. I could tell that my excessive use of social media served as an escape from the thoughts I would have that would cause me to spiral, but it was a temporary fix. It would inevitably cause me to feel even worse after getting off, looking up after an hour or two (or three) of scrolling and feeling even lower. 

The clarity I felt within days of being off of the habit of scrolling was a really amazing feeling. I would tell anyone who would listen how I could hear myself think for once and it felt good to be in a better place mentally. “Slowing down” as we often glamorize does sometimes look like taking a step back into our lives off the online world. Also, practices I love like picking up a book instead for a different form of escapism were proving to be beneficial to my well-being, I love to read. While my anxiety was still present, when I had to gauge how that felt I realized I didn’t have what I can only describe as bees buzzing frantic that I was accustomed to probably from just overstimulation. The effects of social media on our brains may be young in the years of study but the findings make sense, long-term effects notwithstanding. 

Common humanity has us dealing with things like imposter syndrome or self-doubt, the fear of missing out, acceptance, and comparison which are all heightened by social media use which is a literal pressure cooker for these issues we all deal with to some extent. Most people will be able to regulate that just fine with regular use and the dopamine hit that comes with positive feedback from others doesn’t create an addiction that’s harmful in their life. While other people clearly cannot, either online or off. With anything it’s good to have boundaries and to know your personal limits. I read an interesting article about all of that in an article done here. One quote I liked:

 But what makes users come back for more even when it can literally make them feel sick?

I think it is extremely validating to see that the effects social media has on me that are destructive to my mental health is a common experience across the board. It is not a matter of if but when it will affect you in that way.  

Maybe I won’t delete it forever, I like to think I have learned what it feels like to be more present in my life, leaning into the hard days a bit more instead of numbing myself out. I like to think I wouldn’t deal with comparison when I resume use, that I wouldn’t fall into the trap of doomscrolling. I like to think I wouldn’t have a rush of FOMO again, and that I wouldn’t be down on myself thinking I don’t deserve good things. I know myself though, I know that I would probably slip right back into that mindset if I am not conscious of it and I don’t have boundaries set around it. I have found that even substack can scratch that itch, any time a stranger likes a note or comments on a post, taking the time to subscribe, I could totally see it becoming addicting. 

I liked to think my relationships wouldn’t change that much taking a break from Instagram. I have formed friendships through the platform or reconnected with college friends for instance, but I was interested to see how those would shake out. Especially the friends I see in person or the ones I keep in touch with from other states and countries. It’s been a bit eye-opening to see how our dependence on social media to support our relationships impacts the people we want in our lives. When you remove that factor some people simply disappear. An “out of sight, out of mind” mentality is easy to fall into in adulthood, you don’t see your friends regularly as often. I think it’s perpetuated through the fact that we can see what anyone is up to at any point, maybe without them even knowing we are checking in on them, but it makes us feel connected. It ticks the box in our mind, or flags us to reach out to them intentionally. I have experienced this since stepping back and it has been a bit unnerving for me, to feel disconnected but letting go of the “need to know” and it has forced me to get past social anxiety a bit and reach out to people as I think of them, directly. 

I don’t need to unpack all of the poor effects social media has since it is clear and yet we all return to it, myself included. There are a lot of good things that come with it as well. I think the issue lies deeper within ourselves, a sense of security that we can reach where it doesn’t matter as much what other people think or feel towards us because we are comfortable in our own skin and filled with acceptance in our minds. A sense of security in our friendships, that are not dependent upon an app, our loved ones a text or phone call away to a coffee date or Facetime catch up. Relying on our lives to give us the dopamine we need from eating a good meal, doing something kind for someone, hugging a loved one, and smiling at the warm sun, so the likes of a stranger don’t hit the same. The trickle effect has impacted me, and the gentle reminder that life is good even without being caught in the current zeitgeist is okay too.